when we talk about Mary

JMJ
AMDG

There's a lot of talk bouncing around the world and in particular, the Internet, about how "Catholics hate women!" to which Catholics fling back "no we don't! look at these fifty million paintings of Mary in which she acts like an impossible woman who never broke a fingernail, much less a sweat!"

I'm paraphrasing, of course, but can we stop that?

Blessed Chiara Luce Badano

Instead, when we talk about Catholic women, can we talk about Chiara Luce Badano? who was born in 1971 and who liked dancing and swimming and pop music but who lived completely for Jesus and who died of osteoporosis at nineteen, after refusing morphine because she wanted to be lucid and offer her suffering to God?

Can we talk about Pulcheria, who was an empress? And scholar? Who was so brilliant that the church fathers asked her advice in fighting against the Nestorian heresy?

Can we talk about Mary Magdalene, who is my homegirl cause she was rather a trainwreck of a saint, and it's right in the Gospels that she was crying too much to notice Jesus and tbh that's me and I need women who were messy and real but still holy; still beloved.

Can we talk about Catherine(of Siena) who told the pope to go back and live in Rome and lead the church? who did this in a time when women weren't supposed to have opinions?

Can we talk about Catherine(of Alexandria) who not only was put on trial for her faith, but she converted all the philosophers/judges who were supposed to be convicting her? Who died because she loved Jesus? Oh, and she was eighteen when all this went down.

When we talk about Catholic women, can we stop pinning Therese(of Lisieux) into a nice, neat little box of being a sweetheart and remember that she's a doctor of the Church? That despite being told to be quiet she up and talked to Pope Leo XIII during an audience and asked if she could enter Carmel?

Can we talk about Joan (of Arc) who led an army? Who refused to be afraid because she knew God was with her? Who called her soldiers out on using foul language and humor and missing Mass?

Can we talk about Hildegard(of Bingen) who was an abbess, theologian, musician, visionary, artist? Who stood for truth in a time of great heresy? Who is a doctor of the Church?

Saint Edith Stein/Teresa Benedicta

Can we talk about Helen(a), who raised Constantine? Who was largely responsible for the acceptance of Christianity? Who decided in her eighties to go on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land to find the true Cross?

When we talk about Catholic women, can we talk about Edith Stein(aka Teresa Benedicta of the Cross) who was raised in a Jewish family, became atheist as a teenager, and eventually converted to Catholicism after a long, drawn out conversion and lots of study? Whose writings on women are cuttingly relevant today, decades later? Who had lots of sharp edges that were only tamed by the love of God?


Can we talk about all the women saints who weren't supposed to have opinions and weren't supposed to speak up and who weren't supposed to be good at things and be noticed and who weren't supposed to do that, whatever that was? gosh, can't you just get married and follow expectations? can't you do things according to cultural and familial traditions and forget this "universal call to holiness?"

Can we talk about these women who lived the Gospel, in whatever life they lived?

Can we talk about the sheer badassery of women and of saints? (pardon my French)

And then can we stop pretending that Mary was any different? Can we realize that she was the example for all these women?

this is the sort of thing i don't like.

We have this tendency to assume that Mary was this quiet, peaceful girl who never did anything wrong and always was clean and never got acne or even a suntan, despite the fact that she lived in Palestine.

And while she was without sin, that doesn't mean that she never overcooked dinner or dropped things that weren't meant to be dropped or was Milk-White Princess Mary™.

Personally, I hate the Good Catholic version of Mary, doormat Mary; Pinterest Mary, mostly because she's made up.

After all, all these women of God, these brave, daring, amazing women had Mary as their example, and they were human. For goodness' sake, Therese was afraid of spiders.

So being like Mary doesn't--can't--mean being a pushover. It doesn't mean smiling sweetly in a sort of daydreamy haze all the time. It does however, mean being tough as nails, because when we talk about Mary, let's remember that she was still an unmarried teen mother who took a road trip on the back of a donkey while nine months pregnant. She wasn't exactly everyone in Nazareth's idea of a perfect woman.

Really, being like Mary means following God's will. It means running headfirst into whatever He calls you to, whether you understand or not. It means giving everything to Jesus--every minute of every day.

And that is absolutely worth emulating.

God bless.

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NEWS
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the intrinsic superpower of womanhood

JMJ

AMDG

Women can get a lot of hate.

It’s shown in the way that every guy has that sappy falsetto he slips into whenever he's talking about something a girl said. It’s shown in the way that my dad gets laughs and comments whenever he mentions that he has four daughters. It’s the way that girls are laughed at for wanting to be pretty, wanting to be loved, wanting to change the world. It's shown in the way that people swing to extremes when talking about women--have ten kids if you want to be a good person! have a great career and be a CEO if  you want to have a good life!

Excuse me, have you ever actually met a woman?

Women are so much more than this.

It was a girl, who, when my world was falling apart around me, befriended me and showed me that life was good. It was a girl who taught me to love Mary as a person and not just as an idea. It has been girls who've taught me what it is that femininity looks like. It’s been girls who've given me a definite idea of who exactly it is I want to be.

There have been women of all ages and walks of life. There have been a lot of deep discussions and small groups and laughter and tears. There have been a lot of hugs hello and goodbye, and while girls can be nasty and snide and mean as all get out, there aren't many people who will hold you as tightly as your girlfriends will.

Cause here's the thing: women are insanely good at loving.

Some women show it more than others. Some women will be the ooey-gooey-lovey-squishy kind of women, and that's okay.

And some women hate wearing skirts and love video games and other stereotypical manly things, and that's okay too, because the thing is, women, when living for God, have a natural gift of loving other people.

Mothers are the best when it comes to loving, and all women are called to be mothers.

Some women will bear children from their body. Some won't. Some will someday but haven't yet. All women, though, bear a natural calling to motherhood.

You may find your children in the soul that you carry inside you for nine months. You may feed them smashed-up peas and other dubious soft goo. You may have to refuse to let them wear the ballerina tutu out of the house. You may have to refuse to let them wear that shirt out of the house. Your husband may walk them down the aisle at their weddings.

"The world does not need what women have.
It needs what women are."

--Saint Edith Stein

(Teresa Benedicta of the Cross)

Or you might find them in the girl who’s three years younger than you, the one who doesn't smile very often and looks a little terrified to do so. You may find them in kids you are paid to care for. You may find them in your siblings or cousins or someone else's siblings or cousins. You may find them in people your own age or people older or people younger.

Motherhood is not a choice. It is a treasure, and it is up to you to find where it lies.

It is written in the way our bodies are softer and smaller than men, made for holding tight to someone who's drifting or wide awake at one am or simply tired of living.

It is written in the way that women are more expressive about the little things; the way women lean forward when they're talking to one another. It is written in the way that we are so much quicker to touch, to embrace, to fall in love with someone whether they love us back or not. It is written in our desire to be beautiful--to make our very bodies echo the love that lies inside.

Note--beautiful can mean Audrey Hepburn or it can mean sparkly princess or it can mean jeans and converse or some of all of them, just like loving can mean screaming or whispering or laughing at night when everyone else is asleep.

My sisters, you hold such greatness inside you, and you are beautiful.

I’m not saying every girl is perfect. None of them are. I’m not saying every girl is a saint.

But every girl has the potential to be.

Dear heart, if you are reading this, you are worth it. You are worth Jesus dying for you and so you are worth it.

You have the power within you to go out and be a doctor or a mother or both. You can be an artist or a scientist or a writer or you can work at McDonalds and you will still be worth it.

Dear heart, you are far more beautiful than you know.

And those nights you've stayed up wondering if anyone would ever love you? It’s okay, He does.

Those days you've stared at college applications or job applications and wondered if you'd ever make it? It's okay. Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7)

Dear heart, you are beautiful and you are loved beyond all imagining and I don't care what you've done in the past, because He is standing before you with open arms, ready to forgive.

Dear heart, you can be a saint. In fact, you're meant to be.

And yes, I know how mean women can be. I’ve been on the receiving end of that before, and if you're reading this and wondering how I can tell that girl who's a b****h to you that she's beautiful, it's because she is. It’s because she, without a doubt, is loved by God, and that makes her worth something. And I know she might have cut you deep. I know it's hard to forgive. I know that it might take a long time.

But dear heart, being beautiful doesn't mean you can't be broken, too. Both you and she are both beautiful. Learn to live that and learn to see that in her.

If you are a woman, than that means you have the power to take on the world.

Go, and love with everything you are. The rest will come.

I’m praying for you.