deserts & manure

JMJ
AMDG
There are two passages I've come across lately in my Bible reading that have really stuck out.

So I will allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak to her heart. (Hosea 2:16)

A man had a fig tree growing in his vineyard, and he came out looking for fruit on it but did not find any. He said to the vinedresser, "Look here! For three years now I have come in search of fruit on this fig tree and found none. Cut it down. Why should it clutter up the ground?" In answer, the man said, "Sir, leave it another year, while I hoe around it and manure it; then perhaps it will bear fruit. If not, it shall be cut down." (Luke 13:6-9)

I think what this means is that it is sometimes necessary for life to suck.
I think what this means is that sometimes actual crap is what is necessary for our conversion and for us to turn to God.

It is an uncomfortable truth, to be sure, and rather a strange one.
He says, So I will allure her, and we think of pleasant times, of romance and sunsets and hours in Adoration where everything *feels good*--but then He continues, I will lead her into the desert and we aren't so sure anymore and WHAT IS THIS I WANT OFF.
But then He speaks to my heart. And to your heart. And that makes it worth it.

Because the desert is not the end game. The desert is not the point of life. The desert is a part of growing up. The desert is the spiritual equivalent of your awkward fashion phase in middle school. It will pass. It may take a while. It will pass.

The point of the desert is not to make you miserable. The point of the desert is to quiet your mind so that you can hear His voice again.

When He says I will hoe around it and manure it we get nervous. We want to hold onto the weeds in our lives, the little sins that are slowly choking us to death. We want thin soil, because it is safe; because it doesn't smell or feel uncomfortable.

But He knows best, and so sometimes it is necessary for stuff to stink. Sometimes we need hardship to develop the skills that lie inside us.

But remember: the point of the manure is not for it to be awful and painful and lead you to self-loathing. The point of manure is to help you grow. The point of the manure is for you to bear fruit.

And let's also remember that a good gardener does not wildly fling animal dung at his garden like WHOA YEAH LET'S MAKE A MESS IN HERE I BET I CAN COMPLETELY COVER THESE PLANTS WITH THIS MANURE. A good gardener analyzes the situation and gives a plant what it needs to grow. Sometimes that's manure. Sometimes it's more sun or more shade or maybe it needs to be watered.

And besides, this will not last forever. The last lines of Hosea chapter 2 are as follows:

From there I will give her the vineyard she had,

 and the valley of Achor as a door of hope. 

She shall respond there as in the days of her youth, 

when she came up from the land of Egypt. 

On that day, says the Lord, 

she shall call me "My husband" 

and never again, "My baal"*

Then I shall remove from her mouth all the names of the Baals, 

so that they shall no longer be invoked.

I will make a covenant for them on that day, 

with the beasts of the field, 

with the birds of the air, 

and with the things that crawl on the ground. 

Bow and sword and war 

I will destroy from the land, and 

I will let them take their rest in security. 

I will espouse you to me forever; 

I will espouse you in right and in justice, 

in love and in mercy; 

I will espouse you in fidelity, and you shall know the Lord. 

On that day I will respond, says the Lord;

 I will respond to the heavens,and they shall respond to the earth; 

The earth shall respond to the grain, and wine, and oil, 

and these shall respond to Jezreel. 

I will sow him for myself in the land, 

and will have pity on Lo-ruhama. 

I will say to Lo-ammi, "You are my people," 

and he shall say, "My God." 

(Hosea 2:17-25)

God bless. I'm praying for you.

*baal: lord/master

love then, consists in this

JMJ

AMDG

You are loved.

Really.

You don't get a choice in that. You are loved beyond the farthest reaches of human comprehension by a God Who allowed Himself to suffer all the small indignities of human life; Who allowed Himself to be beaten into a bloody mess and crowned with thorns and kicked and spat on and nailed to a piece of wood because He wanted to prove to you--you--that He loves you. He wants to be with you--you forever. For all eternity.

It didn't have to cost Him anything. He's God, after all. He could have waved His hand and started over. He could have made it so that Eden just didn't matter. He could have shrugged and let the world spin out its days without hope of Him.

Except, He couldn't.

He couldn't, because He loves you, and you can run from that love all you want. I ran for a long, long time, but He is faster and He will always catch up with you, because darling, He's God. He's wildly, passionately in love with you and He can and He will do whatever is necessary to make sure you know that.

The book of Hosea is often forgotten. It’s towards the back of the Old Testament, and it tells the story of Hosea, who married the harlot Gomer. Gomer left Hosea but he went after her and bought her back with everything he had.

And the thing is, this isn't just a story about an Old Testament couple who could have used counseling. No, this, like everything in the Bible, means something. In this case, it's an analogy for the way that God loves Israel. It’s an analogy for the way God loves the world; the way God loves the Church; the way God loves you. 

And in Hosea 2, God says to Israel---God says to you: "I will espouse you to me forever; I will espouse you in right and in justice, in love and in mercy; I will espouse you in fidelity and you shall know the Lord." --Hosea 2:21-22

And in Isaiah 62:4-5, He says, "No more shall men call you "Forsaken," or your land "Desolate," but you shall be called "My Delight," and your land "Espoused." For the Lord delights in you, and makes your land his spouse. As a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride, so shall your God rejoice in you."

Or did you ever read the Song of Songs? Where He calls you beautiful? (Songs 1:15; 4:1), where He calls you "as awe-inspiring as bannered troops"? (Songs 6:4), where he calls you His beloved? (Songs 2:10)

Or what about 1 John 4:10--love, then, consists in this: not that we have loved God, but that He has loved us and has sent His Son as an offering for our sins.

And those verses are by no means comprehensive; the love story that is you and God is written all over the pages of the Bible, from Genesis where he breathed life into humankind so that we might know Him, to Revelation, where He promises us glory if we will only accept His love.

Dear heart, God loves you as His bride.

There is no reason why He had to make humans. God is perfect in and of Himself, and He could have gone on being Himself and not ever made anything.

Except He didn't want to, because that meant He never would have made you, and he is deeply, intensely in love with you. 

He loves you as a man loves his bride, whether you are man or woman, married or single, young or old. He gives you jewelry in raindrops and lightning and stars; He gives you flowers in every roadside blossom or greenhouse or forest; He gives you Himself, body, blood, soul and divinity, in every Mass.

Love, then, consists in this: a God Who would die for you for no other reason than because He loves you. He died for your sins because He doesn't want to spend eternity without you. He is waiting for you in the Eucharist because He doesn't want you to be alone. 

The greatest love story of all time is 

contained in a tiny white Host

--Fulton Sheen

Maybe you don't feel loved right now. Maybe you've never felt that loved. Or maybe you have close friends and a strong family who care about you deeply, but His love is better than anything and it is far, far better than any love we can have between any two humans.

St. Augustine wrote, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in You, O Lord,", so go, and let Him give you rest. Go, and let Him love you. 

Let Him love you, dear heart. Let him fill every corner of your dented, dusty soul, and let Him make you new again. Go to Confession. Sit with Him in Adoration. 

Let Him love you.

Because He does. And you can never, ever change that. 

********

note--this is probably mostly for the women. Or maybe it's for men too. I’m very much a woman, and so I don't have the inside scoop on how men think. If you're a man and this speaks to you, that is awesome, and blessed be God. But if you're a man and you think I’m crazy or that this is really weird, I'm sorry, but this wasn't really written with you in mind.